ZELDA'S QUEST FOR ZAGNUT

STAGE 1

Today I accepted a challenge for the Princess Zelda. Her kingdom is void of the rare confectionary jewel known as Zagnut. Her desire is to hold in her hands this rare jewel. I being the noble warrior that I am, have undertaken to provide her this pleasure.

My first step in this quest is to formulate a plan. To that end, I researched among the records of the Zagnut manufacturer for locations which are known to house this jewel. Alas, the villages in and around my current locale show no presence of the confection. I broaden my record search to include the closest metropolis. Eureka, there are a handful of locations known to contain the rare jewel. Each of these bear the name of a common retail merchandiser.

Suddenly my research is interrupted by an incoming signal on my communication device. My last born offspring is in dire need of transportation. I hastily discontinue my work to rescue the fruit of my loin. I speedily navigate my warship to her transmitted location. I arrive there safely only to find she has departed by the hand of her embryonic hostess without a notification unto me to abort my emergency mission.

I am now faced with a choice. Do I begin the quest with the incomplete knowlege I have already attained or do I seek nourishment for body? I opt for nourishment amidst the company of other warriors while listening to the exhortation of a journeyman.

My body and soul refreshed, I slowly traverse back to my abode keeping my eyes alert for possible places that a Zagnut may be kept. I spy a shop bearing the name of those shops encountered during my research. I slow my warship into the docking area to gain access into this structure. Time has been unkind to the environs here. I enter the shop and scour the aisles in search of the treasure. I spy another rare treat with the name of Zero and gain hope, but those are quickly dashed. The shopkeeper approaches me to offer assistance. The puzzled look as I pronounce the name Zagnut causes my heart to sink even before the word no escapes her lips.

Stage 1 has failed, but failure is only a stepping stone towards future success.


STAGE 2

I have received intelligence reports that indicate the elusive Zagnut may be found within striking distance of my weekly gaming rendezvous. I shall allot time to detour to these destinations as I make my trek in several days.

In the meantime, I searched a trio of local establishments during the hour reserved for consumption of midday vittles. Although the Zagnut jewel was not found, I did manage to corner another rare jewel known as the Clark Bar. I have provided photographic evidence of my conquest here.

Clark Bar

STAGE 3

Several days have passed since my last excursion on Zelda's Quest. Armed with the intelligence reports, I resumed my search this afternoon. Would success be mine?

I had a route planned based upon the deviation from the standard course. The first stop was just a few hundred yards from the major interchange of defense highways which are a part of my normal Sunday routine. However it has been twenty years since I last actually stopped my vehicle in this territory. Media outlets often contain reports of lethal violence at the large closed market just across the way. This is not exactly a destination for tourists.

I slowly proceeded along the local thoroughfare keeping my visual field attuned to my surroundings. It was only a few seconds before I spotted a tall mast bearing the name of the establishment purported to contain the Zagnut.

As I pulled into area designated for parking I was immediately struck by woeful neglect that afflicted this habadashery. A large crater with the appearance that it had been caused by an improvised explosive device interrupted the flow path of the entering and exiting ships. Sadly, I believe this crater was actually formed by the unabated erosive forces of nature over time.

The building housing the mercantile also showed signs of age and neglect and evidence that a criminal element oft lurked nearby. The glass doors and windows were protected by vertical bars of steel to prevent unauthorized access. Nothing I saw inspired peace about my expedition.

I docked my warship and proceeded on foot into the structure. Scanning the natives in the midst, I quickly ascertained that my appearance betrayed that I was an alien to these parts. Taking a deep breath I went straight to the rack containing the type of treasures that I sought. My eyes quickly caught the large yellow lettering on the bright red background. ZAGNUT it proclaimed in the bottom left corner of the rack.

I kneeled down to take my prize into my hands. I carefully felt the long rectangle of crunchy peanut butter toasted coconut throught its protective layer. The first few I felt had evidence of rough treatment and were not whole. Then I felt one that was complete. Having come so far I decided that I would not stop with just one bar. I found one for myself as well as one for Princess Zelda.

I stood in line to hand over the monetary value of these precious jewels to the woman in charge of collections. She barely acknowledged my existence as she shoved the change into my hand. My quest complete. I hurriedly exited the premises and entered my trusty warship to depart from this place.

Here is the photographic evidence of my success.

Zagnut